so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
