ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just threw up on my dentist
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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