Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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