I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
