he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
