It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
