it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
