woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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