Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
you are never too drunk for berry picking
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
