She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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