yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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