A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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