I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
