Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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