i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
