Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
