I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
