How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
