I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
