I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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