roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
