im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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