I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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