i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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