Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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