you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
