Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
