So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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