Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just forgot I was standing up.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
