I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
