You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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