Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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