have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
