I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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