is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
