trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
