Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize