I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
