she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
