spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
