Don't you send me to vm
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
