i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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