Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
