At least make sure they are 18
Why
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
