I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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