i'm signing you up for texting rehab
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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