i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
