you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
