just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you would pick up someone in the library
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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