Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
