So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
